Anyone who has ever gone through a massive shift in their life has felt the undeniable urge to do something different. Something unexpected, maybe even a tad rebellious.
I know I’ve been there many times. Show me a break up, I’ll show you a side of me you never knew existed. Shit break-up in my twenties? That took me from beach blonde to chocolate brown. First divorce? Adieu long hair, bienvenue le chop with double processing. (In retrospect? Total merde move.) Second divorce (*gulp* still not fun to write that)? Well, I had a good, long sit with this one.
What to do, what to do … I’d always wanted to dye my hair almost-black, you know — embrace my Irish roots, but I’ve been too in love with my purple to say goodbye. I even contemplated cutting bangs: perhaps the most compulsive option normally fueled by a major life crisis or delusion that you’ll look like Jessica Biel. (You won’t.)
So what’s a girl experiencing an existential crisis with ants in her pants to do? Naturally, go scroll aimlessly on Instagram, looking for answers and dopamine hits, and alas! For once, the social gods graced me with kindness and it came in the form of Charlize Theron’s cunty little bob.
I must start by saying, I don’t know if Charlize is into women, but Charlize — we are into you! Especially with this tousled blunt cut paired with irreverent tailored looks. I will provide a carousel below for your viewing pleasure, but I want you to notice something important: is she devastatingly gorgeous? If you have a pulse, you’ll probably agree, however what I love about her the most: she isn’t dressing or performing for the male gaze. And that is where I’ve existed for a very long time. I dress and style myself not so I can be seen as desirable (especially for men), but rather to express the different facets of my mood and personality.
Cue lightbulb moment: I must cut my hair!
My entire personality relies on the cunty little bob!
Some context and relief for those of you who cringe at reading the C-word. A. in queer and drag culture, ‘cunt’ isn’t derogatory, rather a way to say sharp, fierce, or incredibly stylish. B. ergo, we should all strive to ‘serve cunt’ C. or rock a CLB. This phrase was coined by Leslie Bibb when she cut her hair for The White Lotus saying, “Some people have 'The Rachel,' I have the cunty little bob.”
I ran my hair-brain idea by my friends and got the stamp of approval. But the comment that solidified the deal came from Signe when she said, “Just think about it. If you go that short, all of your hair from ‘the before times’ will be gone.”
The thought gave me chills. They were strands of a web, tangled with old stories, pain, and a version of myself that died long ago. My old hair was literally weighing me down. And this is where I’ll introduce an unexpected pivot: as I sat down in my stylist’s chair, I asked if I could make the first cut myself. I needed to be the one to sever the past. But I also asked to keep the discarded locks because I knew they contain magical properties. Let me explain:
Throughout history and an array of spiritual traditions, the head has been seen as the seat of the soul, therefore making hair a literal extension of one’s personal essence. For this reason, many cultures would never cut their hair, believing the length connected them to nature and the creator. In much witchcraft and folk magick, hair is seen as a symbol of personal power and a tool in sympathetic magic (think using hair to symbolize/bind your or someone else’s essence in spellwork).
I’ve personally used strands in rituals and woven knot magick into my hair, notedly on the morning I had to say goodbye to my beloved dog, Ashi. I used an extended version of the below incantation to imbue myself with the strength to bear witness as she passed from our realm to the next.
So back to chopping my hair off. I knew I wanted to keep my hair, but what was a wiley witch with a new CLB to do with it? One friend recommended I burn it, which felt like a solid option, but I wanted something with more intention; not just general release. And upon talking with Bri, one of my Haus of Phoenix students who happens to be an occultist, she suggested offering my hair to a deity that I connected with. She said many enjoy Aphrodite, but that the choice had to be mine.
And that’s when it hit me: Medusa.
Her story has been churning in my head for years, and my pen has been put to paper for just as long trying to reimagine her life in my novel. Striving to do her justice. And now I can dedicate my hair to her — my willingness to part with who I no longer am, as she was once forced to do, ready to step into my power, and feel more connected to her. Not a goddess, nor a monster, but a singular woman reclaiming her name, serving sharp, fierce power.
Sounds strangely familiar to a phrase I love …
You're serving charisma, uniqueness, nerve, and talent with that bob!!
And you — my dear friend— are serving sharp, FIERCE power daily! Have been, are now, will be to infinity and beyond! But the CLB just adds that little cherry on top! 🤌🏼🤌🏼🤌🏼